Tuesday, November 11, 2003
NEW KIDS ON THE BLOG. Yeah, yeah. NEW KIDS ON THE BLOG. Okay, I know, that probably conjures up really painful memories of the late '80s with those steps in the head and parachute pants and really brightly colored Trapper Keepers. Yeah, it's even too much for me to take. Now, if you're like most people, you are probably wondering why I dragged you down such an unspeakable corridor of the memory. Well, I have to start with a very engaging conversation I was having with my friend, Amy, this morning. We were talking about something, and suddenly, we were both laughing about an unnamed rock group because I had mentioned a certain feature of this blogging website. It actually has reference to all those newbies (to borrow a Linux term) to the blog. I have found it to be quite an awesome experience.
Okay, on to my rants and raves. I can't decide whether this is a rant or a rave because half of me thinks it's one of the funniest things I've ever heard, half of me thinks it's dumb, and half of me thinks, "What did I have for lunch?" One, two, three halves...? Hmmm. I don't know. Anyhow, did you know that the Saudis are feeling that they are in a sand shortage? Okay, if they're in a sand shortage now, what's to stop Cuba from fearing a seawater shortage? Seriously, I guess someone wants to not only run the oil industry, but also the sand industry. That will have an immense effect on cement sales and childrens' funtime. Sand. Is it a new endangered species. So far, I haven't heard of anyone saying: "Protect the Saudi Arabia's wild sand population from extinction. Donate now!" I guess, since we learned from last time's blog that we are all among the richest people in the world, why not donate and save the Wild Saudi Sand.
Jason's Assault on the Media
1 - Best Band: See Picture
2 - Sexiest Entertainer: Bennifer, aka J Lo
3 - Wittiest Daytime Performer: O
4 - Product Most Likely to get you Killed: Oil of Ole
5 - Best Rapper (Okay, this really isn't a category, but he said he'd sic his thugs on me if I didn't include it): M&M
6 - Most likely to leave you with a bad taste in your gizzard: Bjork
7 - Woa! How'd that one get in there: No Comment
8 - What happened to Brittney Spears? Alien Abduction
9 - Best Post-political stress reliever: Jammin' with Ozzie Melendez
10 - Is this chicken or is this fish? You know who I mean
Anyhow, that was Jason's Assault on the Media. Stay tuned for possibly more blatant misrepresentation of (sometimes) public icons.
Au revoir
Okay, on to my rants and raves. I can't decide whether this is a rant or a rave because half of me thinks it's one of the funniest things I've ever heard, half of me thinks it's dumb, and half of me thinks, "What did I have for lunch?" One, two, three halves...? Hmmm. I don't know. Anyhow, did you know that the Saudis are feeling that they are in a sand shortage? Okay, if they're in a sand shortage now, what's to stop Cuba from fearing a seawater shortage? Seriously, I guess someone wants to not only run the oil industry, but also the sand industry. That will have an immense effect on cement sales and childrens' funtime. Sand. Is it a new endangered species. So far, I haven't heard of anyone saying: "Protect the Saudi Arabia's wild sand population from extinction. Donate now!" I guess, since we learned from last time's blog that we are all among the richest people in the world, why not donate and save the Wild Saudi Sand.
Jason's Assault on the Media
1 - Best Band: See Picture
2 - Sexiest Entertainer: Bennifer, aka J Lo
3 - Wittiest Daytime Performer: O
4 - Product Most Likely to get you Killed: Oil of Ole
5 - Best Rapper (Okay, this really isn't a category, but he said he'd sic his thugs on me if I didn't include it): M&M
6 - Most likely to leave you with a bad taste in your gizzard: Bjork
7 - Woa! How'd that one get in there: No Comment
8 - What happened to Brittney Spears? Alien Abduction
9 - Best Post-political stress reliever: Jammin' with Ozzie Melendez
10 - Is this chicken or is this fish? You know who I mean
Anyhow, that was Jason's Assault on the Media. Stay tuned for possibly more blatant misrepresentation of (sometimes) public icons.
Au revoir
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