WSU Trumpet

Here's the situation: you're peacefully driving down the road in your Spartan, but fuel efficient small car enjoying the scenery and listening to music. Suddenly, a large, diesel pickup passes you and gets in front of you. Choking on his exhaust fumes, you back off a ways hoping that the fumes will dissipate and you can go back to the pleasant drive. However, you discover that the fumes hang on like a hungry dog until you're almost 300 feet back from the pickup. Frustrated, you think you should call that new feature in Davis and Weber counties to report a smoky vehicle. When you call them and complain about Mr. Diesel, they promptly tell you that they won't field complaints about diesels because they are already under very strict emissions standards. So, where does this leave you?

I'll tell you where it leaves me! It leaves me in a tight spot. You see, I understand that diesels do have to go through different emissions tests than do regular gasoline vehicles, but it still seems that diesels crank out a lot more stuff than do their gas counterparts. I've heard the data: diesel engines produce fewer harmful emissions than gasoline engines do and diesel engines get better gas mileage than gasoline engines. However, what about the blasted frustrating emissions that these lame-brained motors from Euro-land produce? I know that we have to do things to protect the environment, but what about people's sanity? I can't stand being anywhere near a running diesel engine. They stink. It's like they have some mission to announce their presence by as much noise and smell as possible. That's annoying.

Why do folks by diesel-powered vehicles in the first place? Some would claim that they buy them for their towing capacity. I can accept that. Some would say they buy them for the fuel economy. I can accept that, partly. The part I don't agree with there is how can you make a vehicle as big as a B-52 fuel efficient? (Think Ford Super Duty and Dodge Ram) These trucks are monsters! I don't think God could make them fuel efficient. Yet, with each iteration, they get bigger and burlier and use more gas. Also, the way a lot of people drive their big pickups makes me wonder if they have endless wallets. I can see the situation now: there's a big Ford Super Duty pickup (with a bicycle in the bed - so he can justify a truck) sitting at a red light. When the light turns green, the driver is all over the gas throwing up a smokescreen and revving his engine so loud that Helen Keller could hear it. What's the point of that? It's wasteful. Yet folks do it all the freakin' time.

I'm calling for some reform. I, as a nice driver, with a fuel-efficient, non-smelly car would like to have my case heard. I'm tired of having to breathe that choking diesel exhaust these idiots and their trucks produce. When they say stricter emissions standards for diesels, they should mean it. I think diesels ought to be required to produce no odor not common to gasoline engines. And don't tell me they can't do that, or it's not physically possible. If we can land a man on the moon 240,000 miles away, we can make cleaner, less-smelly diesels and we can have them to market en masse. I know that Euro-land is all abuzz about diesels, and they claim to have cleaner, quieter diesels. Well, I'm here to tell you it's not good enough. I want perfection. If I'm going to be spending my hard-earned cash on an automobile, it should not sound like there are marbles under the hood and smell like a freight train. If I want that, I can take a bag of marbles to a switching yard.

This whole crap about fuel efficiency of diesels and hybrids is bogus. It's pure crap. I don't want to have someone telling me that they're going to charge me an extra $3-to $5,000 so that I can get a 3% increase in my fuel economy [if I drive a certain way.] The way to sell me on it is to stop trying to make engines more efficient and just make engines more efficient. Instead of a 3 or 4% increase in efficiency, make it 60 or 70%, or higher. Give me a compelling reason to buy a diesel or hybrid.

One thing that we need to get over is our unwillingness to compromise when it comes to power. We want these hybrid cars, but have to have them with 300 horsepower engines. Folks, the physics don't swing that way. Gasoline (or diesel) releases a known quantity of energy for each burn. We know how fast it burns. We also know that if you want more power, you have to burn more gas in a shorter amount of time. Therefore, "phenomenal cosmic power" and fuel efficiency are not good neighbors. To get better fuel economy out of your car, you're going to have to sacrifice some power. That's one reason why we don't see a bigger margin of fuel efficiency in these hybrid models. They're too powerful to really make any noticeable difference. I mean, right now, I can get better gas mileage out of my little 1.9L gasoline engine than many of the popular hybrid models currently available.

We also have to give up our love of trucks and SUVs. Trucks especially have no real business carrying people. They're intended to carry cargo, but more and more, folks are using them like they used to use their Buicks. Due to their weight and higher coefficients of drag (Cd), trucks and SUVs will not likely see the kind of fuel economy currently enjoyed by car drivers.

This is my call for reform. I think there needs to be some sweeping changes made in 1) emissions laws and enforcement of those laws, and 2) the manufacturing and sale of motor vehicles. Ford, General Motors and Chrysler are feeling the pinch of their years of pouring resources into developing trucks while they let the car market get away from them. Now, the truck market is shrinking rapidly. Changes need to take place. People need to think differently and act differently. This is the great United States of America. We can do anything we set our minds to and we can do it better than Europe and Asia.

ps: Also, along with hybrids, let's try to make those poor things not look so stupid. Just because a car is a hybrid, should not mean that it's got to look like a maxi-golf-cart.