Monday, April 23, 2007
What About the Children?
I am writing this post in response to a very disturbing trend that is happening in our society today. It is not a new trend. No, in fact, it's probably the oldest trend in history. The trend has really existed as long as the human race has existed. The trend I speak of is sexual awareness.
Sexual awareness? What's wrong with being aware of your sexuality? Nothing, really. In fact, for a man or a woman to be sexually aware is a powerful thing. It's really what perpetuates the creation of new human beings. So in reality, sexual awareness is a very good thing.
However, with all things good, somehow* they get twisted into something sinister and foul. There is an industry, yea, the oldest in the world, that promotes the use of this sexual awareness for power purposes. The industry I speak of is that of prostitution. Now, this article is not about prostitution, per se, but it is about the desire that [mostly men] have for sexual gratification. This can come at a great expense to others, when you consider how far some people are willing to go for a short bit of pleasure.
Children are most vulnerable to this. I see, in my travels and conversations with people, the lowering of sexual boundaries in regards to children. Like I say, this is not a new trend. I'm sure that it started many, many years ago. However, in today's highly charged and information-filled world, children have much more access to things of a sexual nature much earlier in life than they used to. When I was growing up, which was not that long ago, kids in a conservative, upper middle-class neighborhood had to search hard to find things that they weren't supposed to see. Pornography was something you could only get if you went to certain places, and it carried names like "Playboy" and "Penthouse." We knew what those things were, but we didn't ever see them in person. We never did look at pictures of naked women. It was just too inconvenient and too easy to get caught. However, today, all a kid has to do to find pornography is download their email. Bada-bing bada-boom, ya got emails laced with pornographic photos and stories leaping out at anyone who reads it, regardless of their age. Young children are not physically, psychologically and emotionally prepared to deal with highly charged sexuality. It damages the delicate chemical processes that are taking place in the developing mind, causing possibly irrevocable behavior modifications. Children grow up to resent women and to view them as nothing more than objects for their sexual gratification. I believe this can occur with as little as one exposure to pornographic material.
To avoid digressing into an anti-pornography monologue, I mean to say that there is more to this than simply viewing or participating in pornography. The sexualization of children has taken hold very firmly in many aspects of society. Look at the ads for children's clothing. Does it not mimic the style of the adverts for adult (read: sexy) clothing? Have you seen the clothing styles for boys and girls? For girls, there is the form-fitting tee-shirt with a kinky little statement printed on the front. For boys, it's the saggy pants and the butts hanging out. Y'know, in prison, the saggy pants used to mean that a person was "available," if you get my drift. What about the music that pre-teenagers like to listen to? Does it not talk of sex and how to score with a partner? Have you seen the music videos that kids so easily watch these days? What about the way celebrities dress? Children often view celebrities as the epitome of society. Many teenagers idolize a movie star or a rock star (who may have very questionable morals). Children are now being raised with more of an awareness of their sexual identities earlier on than they used to. Parents are not home as much as they used to a generation ago. This time away from the children allows the children more freedom to access things that they may not be ready for. Evidence of this can be found in a recent article in the news where several 5th graders were caught having sex in front of a bunch of other 5th graders. Fifth graders!!! When I was in fifth grade, girls had cooties. I didn't even know how to have sex. I didn't even know what it meant to have sex. But, kids these days certainly do. What do kids do when they're not being supervised? They certainly don't shoot spitwads at each other. Oh hell, no. That's too 1989. Geez, I wish we were back in the '80s. People were more predictable then.
There is also a disturbing trend among older children (teenagers) that goes right along with this increased sexuality. While teen sex and pregnancy are down, teenage sexual encounters have gone up. Kids are now trying out other things to satiate the primitive human instinct to mate. Kids are now doing things such as blowjobs and hand jobs on each other. They consider that oral sex is not really sex and so they are justified in doing it. My personal opinion comes out here. In Utah, where the church has a strong influence, and where parents are still inclined to be very disappointed in child sexuality, we have a major problem. I think, personally, that it would shock most parents to know exactly what their kids are doing. I think it would shock them badly to know how their kids interact with one another; what kind of language they use; what kinds of gestures they make toward each other. Children are not being properly protected and, dare I say (?) sheltered like they should. I'm not saying that we should keep our kids out of society and not allow them to experience things. I'm saying that parents need to take a more active roll in their kids' lives.
What I'm trying to say by this is that we need to do everything humanly possible to protect childhood. It is a precious time in life when kids can be kids. There's nothing in the world like only having to worry if your bike has a flat tire or if you have your comb for your doll. For me, as an adult, as a prospective parent, I can think of nothing more satisfying than the innocence of a child: when all you have to worry about is if your kid got in a fight with the bully or if they had fun at recess or if they enjoyed sending that Valentine card to their teacher. As it says in the book of Ecclesiastes, there is a time for everything. Childhood is not a time for sexuality. Even kids in high school shouldn't be concerned with sexuality, other than an attraction to members of the opposite sex. There shouldn't be this desire for sexual experimentation.
So, what do we do? I cannot stand it when politicians get up their on their Rameumptoms and tell us what's wrong with the world, but not offer any solution. In this case, I offer a solution. GET TO KNOW YOUR KIDS. That, in and of itself, is the best protection children have against a world ever waxing in wickedness. Be a support for your children. When I say get to know your kids, I mean, understand them. Remember when you were a kid. Do things with them. Be their friend. But, and I have to stress this, also be their parent. In understanding your children, also, get to know their friends and their friends' parents. Don't pre-judge people. Make sure that your children's friends know that they are welcome in your home, but provide rules, and make sure that those rules are enforced. Don't be a standoff-ish person, or a person that the kids will not trust. That only degrades the relationship and promotes mischievous behavior behind your back. Also, and this one's important, give your kids some space. Allow them to understand the world around them with the understanding that they are capable of. It's okay to ambiguate concepts that you know they aren't ready for. But don't ambiguate forever. Do not try to force new ideas on them when they are barely grasping the ones they know. Allow them to understand things. Allow them to understand why you would be disappointed if they broke a rule or worse. Help them understand why you are happy when they do nice things and be nice people. Reinforcement of a principle teaches volumes more than the words themselves. There is a world of difference between knowing something and understanding something. Help your children to understand life.
*By the craftiness of Satan
Sexual awareness? What's wrong with being aware of your sexuality? Nothing, really. In fact, for a man or a woman to be sexually aware is a powerful thing. It's really what perpetuates the creation of new human beings. So in reality, sexual awareness is a very good thing.
However, with all things good, somehow* they get twisted into something sinister and foul. There is an industry, yea, the oldest in the world, that promotes the use of this sexual awareness for power purposes. The industry I speak of is that of prostitution. Now, this article is not about prostitution, per se, but it is about the desire that [mostly men] have for sexual gratification. This can come at a great expense to others, when you consider how far some people are willing to go for a short bit of pleasure.
Children are most vulnerable to this. I see, in my travels and conversations with people, the lowering of sexual boundaries in regards to children. Like I say, this is not a new trend. I'm sure that it started many, many years ago. However, in today's highly charged and information-filled world, children have much more access to things of a sexual nature much earlier in life than they used to. When I was growing up, which was not that long ago, kids in a conservative, upper middle-class neighborhood had to search hard to find things that they weren't supposed to see. Pornography was something you could only get if you went to certain places, and it carried names like "Playboy" and "Penthouse." We knew what those things were, but we didn't ever see them in person. We never did look at pictures of naked women. It was just too inconvenient and too easy to get caught. However, today, all a kid has to do to find pornography is download their email. Bada-bing bada-boom, ya got emails laced with pornographic photos and stories leaping out at anyone who reads it, regardless of their age. Young children are not physically, psychologically and emotionally prepared to deal with highly charged sexuality. It damages the delicate chemical processes that are taking place in the developing mind, causing possibly irrevocable behavior modifications. Children grow up to resent women and to view them as nothing more than objects for their sexual gratification. I believe this can occur with as little as one exposure to pornographic material.
To avoid digressing into an anti-pornography monologue, I mean to say that there is more to this than simply viewing or participating in pornography. The sexualization of children has taken hold very firmly in many aspects of society. Look at the ads for children's clothing. Does it not mimic the style of the adverts for adult (read: sexy) clothing? Have you seen the clothing styles for boys and girls? For girls, there is the form-fitting tee-shirt with a kinky little statement printed on the front. For boys, it's the saggy pants and the butts hanging out. Y'know, in prison, the saggy pants used to mean that a person was "available," if you get my drift. What about the music that pre-teenagers like to listen to? Does it not talk of sex and how to score with a partner? Have you seen the music videos that kids so easily watch these days? What about the way celebrities dress? Children often view celebrities as the epitome of society. Many teenagers idolize a movie star or a rock star (who may have very questionable morals). Children are now being raised with more of an awareness of their sexual identities earlier on than they used to. Parents are not home as much as they used to a generation ago. This time away from the children allows the children more freedom to access things that they may not be ready for. Evidence of this can be found in a recent article in the news where several 5th graders were caught having sex in front of a bunch of other 5th graders. Fifth graders!!! When I was in fifth grade, girls had cooties. I didn't even know how to have sex. I didn't even know what it meant to have sex. But, kids these days certainly do. What do kids do when they're not being supervised? They certainly don't shoot spitwads at each other. Oh hell, no. That's too 1989. Geez, I wish we were back in the '80s. People were more predictable then.
There is also a disturbing trend among older children (teenagers) that goes right along with this increased sexuality. While teen sex and pregnancy are down, teenage sexual encounters have gone up. Kids are now trying out other things to satiate the primitive human instinct to mate. Kids are now doing things such as blowjobs and hand jobs on each other. They consider that oral sex is not really sex and so they are justified in doing it. My personal opinion comes out here. In Utah, where the church has a strong influence, and where parents are still inclined to be very disappointed in child sexuality, we have a major problem. I think, personally, that it would shock most parents to know exactly what their kids are doing. I think it would shock them badly to know how their kids interact with one another; what kind of language they use; what kinds of gestures they make toward each other. Children are not being properly protected and, dare I say (?) sheltered like they should. I'm not saying that we should keep our kids out of society and not allow them to experience things. I'm saying that parents need to take a more active roll in their kids' lives.
What I'm trying to say by this is that we need to do everything humanly possible to protect childhood. It is a precious time in life when kids can be kids. There's nothing in the world like only having to worry if your bike has a flat tire or if you have your comb for your doll. For me, as an adult, as a prospective parent, I can think of nothing more satisfying than the innocence of a child: when all you have to worry about is if your kid got in a fight with the bully or if they had fun at recess or if they enjoyed sending that Valentine card to their teacher. As it says in the book of Ecclesiastes, there is a time for everything. Childhood is not a time for sexuality. Even kids in high school shouldn't be concerned with sexuality, other than an attraction to members of the opposite sex. There shouldn't be this desire for sexual experimentation.
So, what do we do? I cannot stand it when politicians get up their on their Rameumptoms and tell us what's wrong with the world, but not offer any solution. In this case, I offer a solution. GET TO KNOW YOUR KIDS. That, in and of itself, is the best protection children have against a world ever waxing in wickedness. Be a support for your children. When I say get to know your kids, I mean, understand them. Remember when you were a kid. Do things with them. Be their friend. But, and I have to stress this, also be their parent. In understanding your children, also, get to know their friends and their friends' parents. Don't pre-judge people. Make sure that your children's friends know that they are welcome in your home, but provide rules, and make sure that those rules are enforced. Don't be a standoff-ish person, or a person that the kids will not trust. That only degrades the relationship and promotes mischievous behavior behind your back. Also, and this one's important, give your kids some space. Allow them to understand the world around them with the understanding that they are capable of. It's okay to ambiguate concepts that you know they aren't ready for. But don't ambiguate forever. Do not try to force new ideas on them when they are barely grasping the ones they know. Allow them to understand things. Allow them to understand why you would be disappointed if they broke a rule or worse. Help them understand why you are happy when they do nice things and be nice people. Reinforcement of a principle teaches volumes more than the words themselves. There is a world of difference between knowing something and understanding something. Help your children to understand life.
*By the craftiness of Satan
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